Unattainable
by alyssialui
Summary: Any girl is attainable, right? Sirius tries to get a date with Dolores, but soon he finds out there's a reason she's never had a boyfriend. Sirius/Dolores. Set in the Maruaders' Era. Thanks to Dragon MoonX for her help with developing the plot. Will be a three-shot
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Any girl is attainable, right? Sirius tries to get a date with Dolores, but soon he finds out there's a reason she's never had a boyfriend. Sirius/Dolores. Set in the Marauders' Era. The Marauders are in Fifth or Sixth Year, while Umbridge is in Fourth. Thanks to **Dragon MoonX** for her help with developing the plot._

 _Submission for:_

 _ **Potter-mon (Pokemon) Competition:** Round 1 - Dolores Umbridge/Sirius Black. Prompt/Attack: Blood quill. Theme: Romance._

 _ **Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry (Challenges & Assignments): **Herbology Assignment #11 -Write about someone who conceals a part of their personality, or something that is important to them, and how this thing is revealed to someone else._

* * *

It was a lovely afternoon which found James and Sirius lingering in the third floor corridor of the magnificent school of Hogwarts as students trotted off to their different classes. They spoke quietly to themselves, enjoying their free period before Transfiguration as the warm sun from the adjacent window shone through their dark hair, casting them in an appealing glow.

Sirius winked at a couple of passing Ravenclaws who were taking in the view, prompting James to chuckle at his friend's antics. "Calm it down, Sirius. You don't have to get every girl that walks pass."

Sirius tossed his head back, making sure the cute one, the one on the right, was watching before he said, "I don't have to, but I can."

James was about to say something more when there was a little cough from behind him. He turned, Sirius peeking around his body, to see a squat little Fourth Year, the sunlight catching on the silver threads in her tie.

"Umbridge," Sirius spat. "Always a pleasure to be graced by your lovely presence."

"No loitering in the hallways," she said, pursing her lips as she took in their dishevelled appearances.

"There's no rule against it, Umbridge," Sirius said, stepping around James to stand right in front of the smaller girl. "But if you ask nicely, we may reconsider."

She scoffed before turning on her heel, her short brown hair swishing around her shoulders as she walked away from them.

"Like anyone would actually listen to that Slytherin toad," Sirius muttered under his breath.

"Well that's one girl you don't have to worry about trying to get, Sirius," James said, as he resumed his relaxed position on the wall. "She completely hates your guts."

"Umbridge?" Sirius asked. "If I wanted her, she would be putty in my hands, just like any other girl here."

James shook his head. "Not her. She reserves a special place in Hell just for you, Padfoot."

There was a loud sound as the Clock Tower marked the end of their free period. "Come, let's head to Transfiguration," James said, rising off the wall as he shouldered his bookbag and tugged his friend along. Sirius simply followed, his mind caught on thoughts he never thought possible - getting Dolores Umbridge.

* * *

Dolores tipped on her toes, stretching to her tallest as she tried to reach the Potions text on the tallest shelf. Curse her father for being so short and giving her such horrible genes.

But suddenly, there was someone behind her, a much taller, male presence who extended his hand above hers and easily pulled the book of place. "Reaching for this?" the male asked and Dolores could practically see the cocky grin on his face above her head.

"Black!" she shrieked, turning around and snatching the book from his hands. "What are you doing here?"

He smiled, that dazzling smile he only gave to the pretty girls, and said, "Can't I help out a damsel in distress?"

She let out a little noise as she walked around him. "I didn't need your kind of help, Black."

But then his arm caught her shoulder, spinning her around to look straight into his grey eyes, not that she ever took notice of his eyes, never. "Look, Umbridge. I'm trying to be nice here, so just-"

Dolores shrugged his hand off, interrupting him as she said, "This is just some trick, isn't it, Black? There's no reason for you to be nice to me. You hate my guts and I hate yours, just as it's always been."

His eyes darted about before he said, "Maybe... I'm trying to... start over?"

Dolores could have laughed out loud at that one, but then she had an idea. If Black was serious, then she had the ultimate test. "Alright then, Black," she said, extending her hand to him. "If you're truly trying to change, meet me in the abandoned Potions classroom in the next two hours," she said.

Black rose a neatly-shaped eyebrow as he shook her hand and asked, "But isn't that after hours?"

"Scared?" she teased.

Black shook his head, "Not at all. Just thought you were always a stickler for the rules."

Now Dolores laughed. "There's a lot you don't know about me, Black," she said as she exited the aisle they were in with the Potions text in hand.

* * *

"I did it!" Sirius said as he entered the Gryffindor common room and threw himself down on the couch next to Peter.

"Did what?" James asked from his seat across the couch, locked in a fierce Wizard chess game against Remus.

"I got Umbridge to go out with me," Sirius said, his lips stretching over his mouth in a wide grin.

"What?" his friends chorused, their heads whipping around to see if he had finally lost his marbles.

"Well, actually not yet, but after I see her again tonight, it'll be easy," he explained.

"But you said it yourself today, she's a Slytherin toad. Why would you want to go out with her?" James asked.

"To prove that I can get any girl," Sirius defended. "And I might even be the first. Have you noticed that she's never had a boyfriend, not even Crabbe or Goyle?"

"So this is just a prank?" Peter asked.

Sirius shrugged. "It's not a prank. It's just a date and then I'll break it off," he said.

"This is a horrible idea, Sirius," Remus said. "She might think it's something more and you'll crush her."

"Guys, it's just Umbridge," Sirius said. "She'll get over it and go back to hating my guts soon enough." He rose from the couch and said, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to freshen up," before he headed towards the boys' dormitories.

* * *

Sirius stole through the castle, keeping to the shadows as he made his way to the abandoned Potions classroom in the dungeons. It was a bit tricky keeping out of Filch's way without borrowing the Map, but it would all be worth it in the end when he swayed Umbridge to his side.

But why did this matter so much to him? This was just Umbridge. On a regular day, he wouldn't have thought twice about her, but it was what James had made her that drove his mission. James had basically called her unattainable, off-limits and for Sirius, someone who had grown up within limits all his childhood life, he wouldn't stand for any more. Dolores Umbridge would be his.

He was soon standing right outside the classroom, the door left open just a sliver to tell him that he was at the right place. He looked up and down the corridor, before he pushed it slightly and slipped in.

"Umb- Dolores?" he asked, his eyes not adjusted to the darkness of the room.

There was a slight whisper before the torches blazed to life, the Slytherin girl stowing away her wand as she sat behind the teacher's desk. "Hello, Black," she said.

He grinned, trying not to let his discomfort show on his face, as he walked towards her. "Call me Sirius," he said.

She smiled back at him, her closed mouth stretching across her face like a long zipper. "I'm glad you showed tonight, Sirius," she said. "I have something to show you."

"What is it, pet?" he asked, leaning across the desk and falling into his usual flirting routine. Though toad-like, Umbridge was still a girl. All his tricks would soon have their effect.

However, she was still unfazed as she reached beneath the desk and pulled out a slender black box and lifted the lid. Sirius took one look before he jumped back, his eyes widened as he looked towards her smiling face and the item inside.

"Why do you have one of those?" he asked.

"Ah, so you know what they are," she said, reaching inside to pull out of the beautiful black quill, its tip sharpened to a fine point which reflected the flickering torchlight. "It was a gift from a friend and a truly marvellous piece of magic."

Sirius swallowed, watching as she twiddled the long feather in her hand, touching the tip with a stubby finger. "And why do you have it here?" he asked.

She let out a light laugh. "It's going to mark the beginning of our new relationship, Sirius. We are going to write each other's name on our hands." Then she lifted her own to show the slight redness of her skin. "I've already started," she added.

Sirius screamed before he ran out of the room. He spirited up the castle steps, uncaring if Filch or McGonagall saw him out after hours. He had to get away from that crazed girl.

* * *

The door to the dormitory opened with a bang as Sirius stumbled in, startling the two Gryffindor boys who were still awake while Peter remained completely dead to the world.

"Sirius, what happened?" James asked, he and Remus jumping from their beds to Sirius' side. "Did Umbridge do something to you?"

Sirius looked into both of their worried faces as he tried to calm him breathing long enough to say, "Now I know exactly why Umbridge doesn't have a boyfriend. She's bloody mad."


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Sirius will not give up. Dolores Umbridge will be his no matter what. Adding another chapter to this story._

 _Submission for:_

 _ **Potter-mon (Pokemon) Competition:** Round 1 - Dolores Umbridge/Sirius Black. Prompt/Attack: Blood quill. Theme: Romance._

 _ **The Treasure Hunt:** write a 2000 word story_

 _ **JUNE EVENT: FEMALE CHARACTER APPRECIATION MONTH:** Dolores Umbridge_

* * *

Dolores slipped quickly through the damp corridors of the dungeons towards her common room. It was very much past curfew and she didn't want to be caught by Filch or Slughorn. After saying the password, she stepped through passage behind the stone wall and headed to the girls' dormitory. If she was lucky, everyone would be asleep by now, and she wouldn't have to explain-

"Dolores," a cool voice said as she stuck her foot through the door. "My, my, breaking the rules?"

Dolores frowned, narrowing her eyes at the smug looking blonde sitting across from her. Of all her dorm-mates who could have caught her, it had to be Marissa Selwyn who had the biggest mouth in Fourth Year.

"I don't have to explain myself to you," Dolores said, making her way over to her trunk at the foot of her bed and stowing the Quill out of sight.

"Oh, but you do," Marissa said as she rose from her bed. "It's not every day the self-righteous, ambitious, prefect-to-be Dolores Umbridge comes in after hours," she said as she walked over to the short girl. "There are many things you could have been doing out in the dark and I just want to get my story straight."

Dolores let out a little hmmph noise as she stood with her bed things and slammed her trunk down with a bang, uncaring if the sound woke up any of the other slumbering girls. Marissa could make up all the stories she wanted. She didn't really know anything and Dolores wouldn't let the girl get under her skin.

"The most likely thing is you got locked in the library, but that's such a boring story," Marissa pondered out loud. "Another could be that you got hungry and walked over to the kitchens. Gotta do something to maintain your... figure." Then she gave an exaggerated gasp and added, "Or, god forbid, you were out to see a boy."

The hitch in her step was all the blonde needed, and Dolores cursed herself for flinching. "Oh my, Dolly has a boyfriend!" she exclaimed in genuine surprise.

Dolores felt her own mouth drop open. Never in a million years would she ever want Sirius Black as her boyfriend. No matter his rebelliously long hair which always looked recently slept on, or the lovely shade of grey in his eyes, he was still an arrogant, Gryffindor dog.

Dolores quickened her pace, ignoring Marissa's follow-up questions as she ducked into the bathroom to forget this entire night.

* * *

"Are you sure of what you saw, Sirius? I mean, it was dark. It could have just been a raven feather," Remus reasoned as he walked with his friends through the castle.

Sirius shook his head vehemently. "No, I'd recognize one of those things anywhere. Mum had a family one for 'special' occasions," he said.

The four boys were still going over Sirius' recount of his meeting with Dolores the night before and the other three boys were still dubious. Sirius would be too if he hadn't seen the thing himself. Blood Quills were rare and expensive, usually used by persons who had sadistic or masochistic tendencies. Why and how did someone like Umbridge own one of the those?

"Well, now we know that Umbridge is even a darker Slytherin toad than we thought," Peter said.

James clapped Sirius on the shoulder. "Yea, dodged a spell there, Padfoot. Some girls just shouldn't be gotten."

Sirius frowned. He could agree with James and just give up on Umbridge all together, and just move on to another girl, someone easier and not crazy. However, that would mean admitting that he couldn't do it, that would mean living within boundaries he had tried so hard to cross for the past five years, that would mean Umbridge had won, and he couldn't have that. Umbridge would be his and if he had to swallow his pride and his fears, he would do it.

* * *

Dolores sat with her friends, Gretchen and Theresa, on one of the stone benches of the courtyard. It was such a lovely afternoon and it was a good place to enjoy the day during their free period before Potions.

Gretchen was just telling them about her most recent trip to her aunt's in France when she was interrupted by a loud voice.

"Umbridge, there you are!"

The girls turned towards the sound, a scowl appearing across Dolores' mouth as Sirius Black approached them.

"Black, what are you doing here?" she hissed, her eyes darting to her friend's faces, their glares barely masking their curiosity.

"I just want to apologize. It was very rude of me to run out on you last night and-"

Her friends didn't even bother to cover up their curiosity now, as they looked between her and Black.

Dolores jumped to her feet, quickly pulling the boy aside and away from their eager ears. "Do you have a death wish?" she asked, reaching up to slap his arm. "You can't just go around talking so candidly about-"

"Our little rendez-vous?" he suggested with a smirk.

Dolores let out a frustrated noise before she asked, "Did you actually want something besides ruining my life?"

The smirk fell from his lips before he said, "Yes, like I said, I'm sorry about running out on you last night. I mean, it's not every day you see one of... those, but I'm alright now. If that's what it takes to be your friend, then I'll do it."

Dolores' eyes widened. Was he serious or just stupid? She had thought her little trick last night would have scared the boy off for good, but it seemed he had gotten over it, so much so that he was now willing to do it.

She bit her lip a moment in thought before she said, "Alright then, meet me back in the classroom tonight."


End file.
